Model Building Safety

Show me a modeler without X-Acto knife scars and I'll show you a kit collector.

This quiet little hobby does have its perils. Between the chemicals and paints and the sharp objects a model builder endangers himself every time he builds. What modeler has never superglued a small part to himself? What builder has never spilled paint thinner all over? What kit collector has never had his humongous stack of collectibles come tumbling down on top of him?

Model building safety is a subject that every modeler should take seriously. Each year untold numbers of unrepeatable words are spoken due to the carelessness of the modeler. [ Each year tens of thousands of model kits have had their parentage questioned, their mothers referred to as a female canine, or accused of explicit sexual acts all the while being called a portion of fecal material. ] Young children are driven into the evil arms of video games because of the fear of possible loss of life or limb due to a model building related accident. Thousands of family pets are multicolored due to experiments with camouflage patterns. Oh, wait a minute. Those aren't accidental.

But what can be done about this national tragedy? Some model builders of the liberal persuasion (Sci-Fi modelers) would want the federal government to intervene. The current proposal by the Sci-Fi Model Builders lobby is for OSHA rules on modeler protective clothing and equipment. [Yes this is tongue-in-cheek.] The more conservative element of our hobby (the Military Modelers) are of the belief that these scars are the badge of honor won at the price of cut skin. They say let it be. For those not brave enough to endure the pain there is always stamp collecting. Personally I prefer the religious approach to this situation. No, I am not talking about having the Supreme Being curse the offending number 11 blade to hades. I believe that periodic sacrificial offerings to the model gods is the cure. Whenever I sit down at the workbench to liberate parts from the sprue I always like to take a small part and toss it over my shoulder. This sacrifice is enough to appease both the model gods and the styrene-eating monster that lives under my workbench. See? Problem solved!