The Crappy

On May 20 IPMS North Central Texas held their annual model contest. This year in addition to the contest NCT played host to the IPMS USA Region 6 convention. [Pictures I took of the event can be viewed at the IPMS USA Web site.]

At ScalesFest a small group of demented modelers held their annual Crappy [also spelled Crappie] Model contest. This event was started 3 years ago at the suggestion of Smartasses of America member # 102 [all names have been eluded to in order to protect the weirdoes]. The idea of this exercise in madness is to produce a finished kit that violates all the practices of good model building. In other words, see who can build the crappiest model. In 2004 we did spacecraft. My entry was a Polarlight USS Enterprise complete with cigarette burn and thumbprint in the paint. I lost. In 2005 we did cars. I lost. [See a trend here?] This year the sacrilege continued with armor. There were only three entries this year - there have never been more than 5 entries. My entry was a Monogram Snap-Tite 1/48-scale Tiger I. I lost.

#102 brought in Tamiya 1/35-scale Sturmgeschutz and the winner (from Abilene, Texas) had a nice dip-paint job on his Monogram 1/32nd scale M-47 Patton. In fact this is the second year in a row for this particular modeler as his crayon painted Morris Minor won last year.

The interesting thing about this contest is that we cannot get anyone else to enter. I’ve heard comments of disbelief that we would do such a thing. I guess it takes a different kind of person to not take this hobby too seriously.


More inappropriate overuse of brackets in upcoming posts.

Model Building Safety

Show me a modeler without X-Acto knife scars and I'll show you a kit collector.

This quiet little hobby does have its perils. Between the chemicals and paints and the sharp objects a model builder endangers himself every time he builds. What modeler has never superglued a small part to himself? What builder has never spilled paint thinner all over? What kit collector has never had his humongous stack of collectibles come tumbling down on top of him?

Model building safety is a subject that every modeler should take seriously. Each year untold numbers of unrepeatable words are spoken due to the carelessness of the modeler. [ Each year tens of thousands of model kits have had their parentage questioned, their mothers referred to as a female canine, or accused of explicit sexual acts all the while being called a portion of fecal material. ] Young children are driven into the evil arms of video games because of the fear of possible loss of life or limb due to a model building related accident. Thousands of family pets are multicolored due to experiments with camouflage patterns. Oh, wait a minute. Those aren't accidental.

But what can be done about this national tragedy? Some model builders of the liberal persuasion (Sci-Fi modelers) would want the federal government to intervene. The current proposal by the Sci-Fi Model Builders lobby is for OSHA rules on modeler protective clothing and equipment. [Yes this is tongue-in-cheek.] The more conservative element of our hobby (the Military Modelers) are of the belief that these scars are the badge of honor won at the price of cut skin. They say let it be. For those not brave enough to endure the pain there is always stamp collecting. Personally I prefer the religious approach to this situation. No, I am not talking about having the Supreme Being curse the offending number 11 blade to hades. I believe that periodic sacrificial offerings to the model gods is the cure. Whenever I sit down at the workbench to liberate parts from the sprue I always like to take a small part and toss it over my shoulder. This sacrifice is enough to appease both the model gods and the styrene-eating monster that lives under my workbench. See? Problem solved!

Post Script: eBay, the Internet, and the Local Hobby Shop

Phil's Hobbies closed in July 2003. Yesterday I happen to be in the area so just for grins I went to the former site of Phil's just to see what business was now occupying the space. This is what I found:

I guess Phil's was irreplaceable.

Austin Scale Model Show

April 29 was the Austin, Texas IPMS chapter’s annual contest. And even though I had nothing to enter (as usual) I went and had a good time. I love seeing the masterful works of other model model builders. My other hobby is photography. With the advent of the digital camera (I can only afford a FujiFilm S5000 SLR at this time -- probably because I spend so much money on model kits) I can take pictures and share them easily (but you knew that about digital). Doing the picture taking for myself I don't have to take shots of everything entered (a feat I did for ScaleFest 2004 and will do for ScaleFest 2006). I can concentrate on the subjects and models I like. That way if you go to my photo site ( Austin Show pictures ) you'll see mostly World War 2 armor. [Is it self evident that to get to the pictures just click on where it says "Austin Show pictures"?]